Application Essay
The first draft of your essay should be totally and brutally honest. Do not try to second guess your reader at all. Every sentence should come straight from your heart. Write like you talk, using straightforward language. Tape-record your first draft or pretend you are writing a letter to a friend if it will help you keep your language simple. Keep the emphasis on content, not style. In this first draft, do not take the time to edit, just write...write...write.
An interesting first line or paragraph is a gift to your reader. If you are an unusual candidate or have had an unusual experience, launching your essay on that note can be a good idea. One of the best types of opening paragraphs relates an epiphany. This could be about the moment you decided to pursue your current goals, or the moment you discovered just what it meant to pursue those goals. Use vivid language, the kind that conveys a message through a series of vignettes. Avoid using words like: meaningful, challenging, beautiful, wonderful, invaluable, rewarding. Instead, say what you really mean; either describe the event in question, or report your emotions and thoughts in more basic detail. If you have difficulty with this approach, try starting sentences with: "I..." "I felt..." "I realized..." or "I saw that..."
"I made a "A" in my labor relations class, but I learned more about labor-management issues in one summer working on a union construction crew than I learned in the class."
"I realized that learning outside in a 9,000 -acre forest was more engaging and exciting than sitting in a lab waiting for some bacteria to grow."
As your essay progresses be sure to read again the essay question/s. Address the question/s as asked and in the order asked. Be specific and provide details, details, details. This approach to writing favors qualitative analysis over quantitative listings. In other words, it is much better to give a rich description of one incident than it is to cram your essay full of activities and accomplishments without any hint of what they meant to you, your motivations for doing them, what you learned from them, and what emotions they evoked from you during the process.
Do not be redundant with other parts of the application. For example, your complete work history may be listed somewhere else on the application, so mention a particular job or a particular accomplishment only to give a new perspective or to let the admissions committee know what one of these has meant to you personally. However, you should refer the reader to other parts of your application when they are important. Tie your essay to the rest of your application with notes like: "See letter of recommendation," "See resume," "See awards."
Be sure to demonstrate that you have read the catalog carefully, researched the program, and considered you reasons for applying to each particular school. Find a common thread, a point at which your philosophy and theirs meet as in the following example.
"I was pleasantly surprised by the size of the Biochemistry Department; I had not expected to learn that the university has successfully added four nationally known research faculty to the department. I am especially intrigued by and excited about the work being done by Dr. Wang."
Reductionism is an a good writing technique to utilize because: (1) it is efficient, (2) it shows clarity of thought, (3) it is accessible to the reader, and (4) it makes for an easy transition from notes to paragraphs as in the following example. Use it sparingly however, or your paragraphs will seem disjointed.
"I, of course, know the reputation of Tufts, which led me to investigate the school. The primary factor drawing me to apply are: (1) opportunity for clinical contact from the very first year, (2) opportunity for small group learning, (3) the pre-elective courses available to first- and second-year students and, (4) the opportunity for overseas assignments.
Substantiate your dedication to your career goal; it makes for a strong essay. It is easy to say, "I always wanted to be a __________." It is not particularly convincing unless you report specific actions that demonstrate the reality of that statement. It is a good idea to demonstrate that you understand the real challenges and drawbacks to both the course of study and the eventual career you have chosen. Admissions committees are reluctant to admit candidates to rigorous programs leading to demanding careers if the applicant does not demonstrate that they have a clear picture of what lies ahead of them in both their training and their career.
Define your career plans. A student who logically and clearly defines their career plans often comes across as mature and directed. Your career goals and anticipated contributions to your field and society will help the admissions committee to realize that you have "a mission." Think of this as the "purpose" part of a "statement of purpose." If, however, you are unclear about your career goals, do not fake it. Your uncertainty will surely show through in your language, or even worse, in your ignorance of realistic career options in your chosen field. If you have a well thought out mission in your career, state it; if you do not, you need not mention it at all.
If you have faced a particular challenge in the course of your life or your education, it may be to your benefit to let the admissions committee know about it such as did a student in the statement below.
"On a personal note, I have been supporting not only myself but also my disabled mother since the death of my father during my freshman year of college. This responsibility has given me a strong sense of purpose, especially for someone my age. My experience has given me the ability to empathize with those whom I expect to serve in the practice of orthopedics."
If you have grades or test scores that do not represent your potential, you can explain them in your essay. As a general rule, it is best to keep the content of your essay positive. Do not make long, involved excuses; keep it simple and devoid of drama, no whining and no feeling sorry for yourself. Also, sometimes it is helpful to compute your GPA according to your own formula.
"Finally, I would like to address the issue of my academic career. As you can see from my transcript, I was not especially mature when I began my undergraduate education. Accordingly, I did not take my studies particularly seriously. After this poor start, however, my GPA for the last two years is 3.25/4.0 and 3.68/4.0. I believer that my GRE scores and my GPA in the last two years are indicative of the performance you can expect from me."
OR
"I am requesting that you disregard the first GRE score on my record instead of averaging it in with my second GRE score. On my way to take the first GRE I was involved in a car accident (see attached police report). I was very emotionally upset during the test. I realize now that I should have skipped the test, but I was in a state of shock from the accident and I was not thinking clearly. As you can see, there is considerable improvement in the second set of GRE scores. Thank you for your consideration."
Successful graduate/professional school essays share some key ingredients. They have great opening lines or paragraphs. They convey at least a glimpse of the applicant's personality, substantiate specific academic preparation and knowledge of subject matter, and demonstrate an understanding of the challenges as well as the rewards of a chosen career field. They often give a sense of the candidates' maturity, compassion, stamina, teamwork skills, leadership potential, and general likeability, usually without addressing these issues directly. Then, they go on to show how the applicant plans to use the graduate education in his/her planned career and establish that the student has an understanding of his/her place in the "big picture."
The essay is a means of tying together all of the disparate pieces of your application into a comprehensive, coherent whole. The admissions essay can help "make sense" of the rest of your application materials. There is no one right way to craft an essay. Some of the most interesting essays will not follow any of the aforementioned guidelines. However, there is something that the best essays will have in common: All the best essays will be both honest and forthright.
You may loose more than you gain by bringing up negatives, especially if your rational is not compelling. Unless you have a really good reason for mentioning weak grades or irregularities in your background, do not mention them at all.
If your first draft was really written from you heart, the material will represent the real you. It is time, however, to make sure there is not too much of the real you in your essay! Write your second draft as though you were sitting in the mind of the reader. Really read each section of your essay and ask yourself, "How will the reader respond to this?" The problem with this editing approach is that you may tend to over analyze and over-anticipate your reader. For your first edit review, just look for the obvious. As you reconsider the gut honesty of your first draft, do not revert to entirely safe and boring responses.
Think twice about responses that criticize past professors, demean other programs, espouse intolerant religious beliefs, or feature trendy political concerns that have nothing to do with the rest of your application. It is usually not a good idea to reveal that you are singularly motivated by money. Writing about you triumph over past personal problems can result in a powerful essay, but do avoid writing about ongoing mental anguish.
It is acceptable to disagree with the profession you are about to join, but do not insult your reader with high-handed narrative like, "Buildings will never make sense until architects learn to..." Instead, turn this into a first-person personal statement, "As an architect, my passionate interest will be to improve the..." There are revolutions going on in many career fields and you can be a part of it, but not by alienating the admissions' reader. Give the reader a chance to be on your side.
Finally, it is very important that you edit your essay for any sexist language or points of view. Do not use male pronouns unless you are referring only to the male gender. Unfortunately, it is probably not a good idea to replace a sexist male pronoun (he, him) with the neuter plural (them, them). This is an awkward solution that some have proposed in response to our lack of neuter singular pronouns. Your readers may assume that you have made a grammatical error. Instead, be laborious with your "he or she," "his or her," and "him or her" constructions.
You are probably being too critical if, trying to look through your reader's eyes, causes you to throw out the majority of your first draft essay. You will lose the integrity and authenticity of your essay if you write only what you think the reader wants. This is specifically what admissions committees do not want.
Look for lines that you can "spice up." Try to infuse your essay with another dose of life. If a point is worth mentioning at all, it is worth illustrating for your reader. For example, "I worked as a teacher's aide at a daycare school" sounds rather mundane. Using detail and accomplishment, here is another way to represent the same fact:
"Last spring and summer I was a teacher's aide at a daycare school espousing the principles of Rheikofkian development theory, using only positive interaction. I was commended by the head teacher for devising new games that exemplified Rheikofkian theory in practice, and for reaching a particular student who had been diagnosed as borderline emotionally disturbed. After one semester under my tutelage, this student was able to be mainstreamed when she entered the public school system. (See letter of recommendation.)"
If your essay is too long, resist the temptation to keep all the points, saying less about each. It is better to throw out some points and topics, and perhaps even enrich your presentation of those remaining points, than turn your essay into a long list of activities. Trust your reader to look over your other supporting materials, especially if you refer to it with a citation like "see enclosed resume citing additional experience."
Your spelling and grammar should be perfect. Have the essay critiqued by your advisor, other departmental faculty, the staff at the Communications Skills Center, the Career Services Center staff, and/or other professional reviewers. The more people who review this essay, the better; you do not want to risk errors.
Two common errors often occur in essays. First, unless a noun is a proper noun, you do not need to capitalize it. Fields of study, such as chemistry, history, mathematics, are not proper nouns even though they are commonly capitalized in academic settings. Second, the quotation mark always goes on the outside of the comma or period, so this is "the right way," and this is always "the wrong way". Admissions readers cite basic errors in spelling and word usage more often than any other specific complaint about application essays. Your spelling and word usage must be perfect. However, a strict grammarian may recommend language changes that wring out the exact meaning of a sentence by removing improper parts of speech such as dangling prepositions. If you are applying to a graduate program in English, you may be wise to be hyper-conservative, otherwise, write like you talk.
Your essay should be typed or word processed, and absolutely free of typographical errors. If your essay will not fit on the application form, do not start it on the form and continue it on a separate sheet of paper. Rather put the whole essay on a separate sheet and type "see attached essay" on the form. It is wise to put your name, social security number and the essay question/s as part of your heading. On all subsequent pages you use for your essay, put your name, social security number, and page numbers. Never print on both sides of the paper. If you find an error after the application is mailed, it is probably better just to live with it than to send in a "corrected" version; doing so only adds insult to injury.
An interesting first line or paragraph is a gift to your reader. If you are an unusual candidate or have had an unusual experience, launching your essay on that note can be a good idea. One of the best types of opening paragraphs relates an epiphany. This could be about the moment you decided to pursue your current goals, or the moment you discovered just what it meant to pursue those goals. Use vivid language, the kind that conveys a message through a series of vignettes. Avoid using words like: meaningful, challenging, beautiful, wonderful, invaluable, rewarding. Instead, say what you really mean; either describe the event in question, or report your emotions and thoughts in more basic detail. If you have difficulty with this approach, try starting sentences with: "I..." "I felt..." "I realized..." or "I saw that..."
"I made a "A" in my labor relations class, but I learned more about labor-management issues in one summer working on a union construction crew than I learned in the class."
"I realized that learning outside in a 9,000 -acre forest was more engaging and exciting than sitting in a lab waiting for some bacteria to grow."
As your essay progresses be sure to read again the essay question/s. Address the question/s as asked and in the order asked. Be specific and provide details, details, details. This approach to writing favors qualitative analysis over quantitative listings. In other words, it is much better to give a rich description of one incident than it is to cram your essay full of activities and accomplishments without any hint of what they meant to you, your motivations for doing them, what you learned from them, and what emotions they evoked from you during the process.
Do not be redundant with other parts of the application. For example, your complete work history may be listed somewhere else on the application, so mention a particular job or a particular accomplishment only to give a new perspective or to let the admissions committee know what one of these has meant to you personally. However, you should refer the reader to other parts of your application when they are important. Tie your essay to the rest of your application with notes like: "See letter of recommendation," "See resume," "See awards."
Be sure to demonstrate that you have read the catalog carefully, researched the program, and considered you reasons for applying to each particular school. Find a common thread, a point at which your philosophy and theirs meet as in the following example.
"I was pleasantly surprised by the size of the Biochemistry Department; I had not expected to learn that the university has successfully added four nationally known research faculty to the department. I am especially intrigued by and excited about the work being done by Dr. Wang."
Reductionism is an a good writing technique to utilize because: (1) it is efficient, (2) it shows clarity of thought, (3) it is accessible to the reader, and (4) it makes for an easy transition from notes to paragraphs as in the following example. Use it sparingly however, or your paragraphs will seem disjointed.
"I, of course, know the reputation of Tufts, which led me to investigate the school. The primary factor drawing me to apply are: (1) opportunity for clinical contact from the very first year, (2) opportunity for small group learning, (3) the pre-elective courses available to first- and second-year students and, (4) the opportunity for overseas assignments.
Substantiate your dedication to your career goal; it makes for a strong essay. It is easy to say, "I always wanted to be a __________." It is not particularly convincing unless you report specific actions that demonstrate the reality of that statement. It is a good idea to demonstrate that you understand the real challenges and drawbacks to both the course of study and the eventual career you have chosen. Admissions committees are reluctant to admit candidates to rigorous programs leading to demanding careers if the applicant does not demonstrate that they have a clear picture of what lies ahead of them in both their training and their career.
Define your career plans. A student who logically and clearly defines their career plans often comes across as mature and directed. Your career goals and anticipated contributions to your field and society will help the admissions committee to realize that you have "a mission." Think of this as the "purpose" part of a "statement of purpose." If, however, you are unclear about your career goals, do not fake it. Your uncertainty will surely show through in your language, or even worse, in your ignorance of realistic career options in your chosen field. If you have a well thought out mission in your career, state it; if you do not, you need not mention it at all.
If you have faced a particular challenge in the course of your life or your education, it may be to your benefit to let the admissions committee know about it such as did a student in the statement below.
"On a personal note, I have been supporting not only myself but also my disabled mother since the death of my father during my freshman year of college. This responsibility has given me a strong sense of purpose, especially for someone my age. My experience has given me the ability to empathize with those whom I expect to serve in the practice of orthopedics."
If you have grades or test scores that do not represent your potential, you can explain them in your essay. As a general rule, it is best to keep the content of your essay positive. Do not make long, involved excuses; keep it simple and devoid of drama, no whining and no feeling sorry for yourself. Also, sometimes it is helpful to compute your GPA according to your own formula.
"Finally, I would like to address the issue of my academic career. As you can see from my transcript, I was not especially mature when I began my undergraduate education. Accordingly, I did not take my studies particularly seriously. After this poor start, however, my GPA for the last two years is 3.25/4.0 and 3.68/4.0. I believer that my GRE scores and my GPA in the last two years are indicative of the performance you can expect from me."
OR
"I am requesting that you disregard the first GRE score on my record instead of averaging it in with my second GRE score. On my way to take the first GRE I was involved in a car accident (see attached police report). I was very emotionally upset during the test. I realize now that I should have skipped the test, but I was in a state of shock from the accident and I was not thinking clearly. As you can see, there is considerable improvement in the second set of GRE scores. Thank you for your consideration."
Successful graduate/professional school essays share some key ingredients. They have great opening lines or paragraphs. They convey at least a glimpse of the applicant's personality, substantiate specific academic preparation and knowledge of subject matter, and demonstrate an understanding of the challenges as well as the rewards of a chosen career field. They often give a sense of the candidates' maturity, compassion, stamina, teamwork skills, leadership potential, and general likeability, usually without addressing these issues directly. Then, they go on to show how the applicant plans to use the graduate education in his/her planned career and establish that the student has an understanding of his/her place in the "big picture."
The essay is a means of tying together all of the disparate pieces of your application into a comprehensive, coherent whole. The admissions essay can help "make sense" of the rest of your application materials. There is no one right way to craft an essay. Some of the most interesting essays will not follow any of the aforementioned guidelines. However, there is something that the best essays will have in common: All the best essays will be both honest and forthright.
You may loose more than you gain by bringing up negatives, especially if your rational is not compelling. Unless you have a really good reason for mentioning weak grades or irregularities in your background, do not mention them at all.
If your first draft was really written from you heart, the material will represent the real you. It is time, however, to make sure there is not too much of the real you in your essay! Write your second draft as though you were sitting in the mind of the reader. Really read each section of your essay and ask yourself, "How will the reader respond to this?" The problem with this editing approach is that you may tend to over analyze and over-anticipate your reader. For your first edit review, just look for the obvious. As you reconsider the gut honesty of your first draft, do not revert to entirely safe and boring responses.
Think twice about responses that criticize past professors, demean other programs, espouse intolerant religious beliefs, or feature trendy political concerns that have nothing to do with the rest of your application. It is usually not a good idea to reveal that you are singularly motivated by money. Writing about you triumph over past personal problems can result in a powerful essay, but do avoid writing about ongoing mental anguish.
It is acceptable to disagree with the profession you are about to join, but do not insult your reader with high-handed narrative like, "Buildings will never make sense until architects learn to..." Instead, turn this into a first-person personal statement, "As an architect, my passionate interest will be to improve the..." There are revolutions going on in many career fields and you can be a part of it, but not by alienating the admissions' reader. Give the reader a chance to be on your side.
Finally, it is very important that you edit your essay for any sexist language or points of view. Do not use male pronouns unless you are referring only to the male gender. Unfortunately, it is probably not a good idea to replace a sexist male pronoun (he, him) with the neuter plural (them, them). This is an awkward solution that some have proposed in response to our lack of neuter singular pronouns. Your readers may assume that you have made a grammatical error. Instead, be laborious with your "he or she," "his or her," and "him or her" constructions.
You are probably being too critical if, trying to look through your reader's eyes, causes you to throw out the majority of your first draft essay. You will lose the integrity and authenticity of your essay if you write only what you think the reader wants. This is specifically what admissions committees do not want.
Look for lines that you can "spice up." Try to infuse your essay with another dose of life. If a point is worth mentioning at all, it is worth illustrating for your reader. For example, "I worked as a teacher's aide at a daycare school" sounds rather mundane. Using detail and accomplishment, here is another way to represent the same fact:
"Last spring and summer I was a teacher's aide at a daycare school espousing the principles of Rheikofkian development theory, using only positive interaction. I was commended by the head teacher for devising new games that exemplified Rheikofkian theory in practice, and for reaching a particular student who had been diagnosed as borderline emotionally disturbed. After one semester under my tutelage, this student was able to be mainstreamed when she entered the public school system. (See letter of recommendation.)"
If your essay is too long, resist the temptation to keep all the points, saying less about each. It is better to throw out some points and topics, and perhaps even enrich your presentation of those remaining points, than turn your essay into a long list of activities. Trust your reader to look over your other supporting materials, especially if you refer to it with a citation like "see enclosed resume citing additional experience."
Your spelling and grammar should be perfect. Have the essay critiqued by your advisor, other departmental faculty, the staff at the Communications Skills Center, the Career Services Center staff, and/or other professional reviewers. The more people who review this essay, the better; you do not want to risk errors.
Two common errors often occur in essays. First, unless a noun is a proper noun, you do not need to capitalize it. Fields of study, such as chemistry, history, mathematics, are not proper nouns even though they are commonly capitalized in academic settings. Second, the quotation mark always goes on the outside of the comma or period, so this is "the right way," and this is always "the wrong way". Admissions readers cite basic errors in spelling and word usage more often than any other specific complaint about application essays. Your spelling and word usage must be perfect. However, a strict grammarian may recommend language changes that wring out the exact meaning of a sentence by removing improper parts of speech such as dangling prepositions. If you are applying to a graduate program in English, you may be wise to be hyper-conservative, otherwise, write like you talk.
Your essay should be typed or word processed, and absolutely free of typographical errors. If your essay will not fit on the application form, do not start it on the form and continue it on a separate sheet of paper. Rather put the whole essay on a separate sheet and type "see attached essay" on the form. It is wise to put your name, social security number and the essay question/s as part of your heading. On all subsequent pages you use for your essay, put your name, social security number, and page numbers. Never print on both sides of the paper. If you find an error after the application is mailed, it is probably better just to live with it than to send in a "corrected" version; doing so only adds insult to injury.
posted by Arjun | 9:08 AM
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